Betty Parker

Four Oaks, NC:  Mrs. Betty Lee Byrd Parker, age 89 of 100 Old Hwy 301 S., died Friday, January 1, 2016 at her residence.  Funeral Services will be held Tuesday at 3:00PM at Rose & Graham Funeral Home Chapel in Four Oaks.  Officiating will be Rev. Emmitt Jones.   Burial will follow in the Four Oaks City Cemetery.  The family will receive friends Monday from 6:00PM-8:00PM at Rose and Graham Funeral Home in Four Oaks and other times at the home.   If you are contemplating leaving the house or taking a picture with a baby without a dab of lipstick, stop. Betty Lee Byrd Parker (also known as Betty “Wee” to some of her great-grandchildren) wants to let you know that her work here is done. She received a call on Friday, January 1, 2016, she could not refuse, for an assignment from which she will not be returning. This assignment comes with a huge sign-on bonus, a reunion with family and friends that she has not seen in a long time. Her new mission takes her to a wonderful place where she will be socializing, laughing, reading, and cooking to her heart’s content, where there is no arthritis pain, loneliness, loss, or discord. Music, laughter, and love is guaranteed. Her feisty and loving spirit is carried on by her three children, six grandchildren, seven great-grandchildren, and their families. Betty Lee taught her family many valuable lessons during her 89 years, among them: mopping your kitchen floor and vacuuming at 2am is perfectly normal, and so is cooking breakfast if a grandkid wakes up and requests a meal; when rocking grandchildren, she perfected a sleep-inducing touch that involves patting the forehead, and stroking the face. But just like with her best recipes, she never could share the exact formula. She would smile and tell us to add a “smidgen” of this and that, and three generations of Parker women later, no one makes biscuits, or her homemade chocolate syrup quite the same.  Betty Lee always had a thing for the handsome, blue-eyed men in her life, first for her husband of 60 years, then her son, Ronnie, son-in-laws, Reggie and Kenny, and last but not least, her grandson Ken and great-grandsons Cameron, Noah, and Christian. She caught the attention of Raiford “Pa” Cornelius Parker on a double date, and married him several months later on February 11, 1946. Those “blue eyes” were the beginning of every conversation when she described how she fell in love. A farmer’s wife, Betty Lee ironed Pa’s red handkerchiefs and Pointer overalls dutifully, and taught her daughters to do the same for their daddy.   Betty Lee loved to cook for her family, even when it was physically difficult to move her arthritic hands. When it was no longer possible for her to make her creamed potatoes, she made sure Patrice, and later, Denise, brought the dish for Thanksgiving dinner. When the family farm raised hogs, Betty Lee cooked tenderloin and all of the family knows Betty Lee’s field peas and black-eyed peas were the best. On the day she went to be with the Lord, New Year’s Day, she made black-eyed peas and called everyone to come and eat. Betty valued hard work and standing up for yourself and your children. She had a firm and fierce way of telling the truth and loving you at the same time. Betty Lee worked for many years for the Four Oaks Drug Co. when she was not helping on the family farm or raising her children, and brought smiles and customer service to the people of Four Oaks. Betty Lee was especially proud of each of her children and grandchildren’s careers; her daughters and grand-daughter who pursued professions in nursing, Mary, Peggy Jo, and Angela, and of Patrice, her oldest grandchild, a successful restaurateur. She freely gave the number to the local Social Security office to her friends and family, advising them to call Reggie and Sara for advice and help. She loved to talk about the projects that Ken and Kenny were working on, how Ronnie was smart working with the telephone company and computers, and how Dianne and Martha both helped many families in their social work/counselor vocations. Just in December, Betty Lee celebrated with her youngest grand-daughter, Emily, finishing her graduate coursework at Columbia University, our family’s first Ivy League student. Grandma was a superb speller, often spelling words so fast in front of the kids, that the grown-ups had to stop her for a repeat, honing the practice of throwing “double-oh” in the middle of a word so quickly that you wondered what she was spelling in the first place. The older we get and the more children are born, we realize that “cookie” was often the word she was spelling, and she was asking if she could give a “c-o-o-k-i-e” to her grandchildren.       She loved to read, loved the Lord, and was often moved to tears to read about the promise of heaven and reuniting with Pa Raiford. Nicholas Sparks and David Jeremiah were two of her favorites. She encouraged her children and grandchildren in their educations, always feeling pride and ownership in their combined ten plus undergraduate and graduate degrees. Her penmanship was beautiful and distinct, and she loved to read greeting cards. She read and re-read them. When family and church family sent her notes, she saved the cards and pictures and made everyone that came to visit read them. Grandma believed in watching the Gaither's on the RFD channel and listening to the Grand Ole Opry. She steeped tea so dark, only several cups of sugar could cut through the bitterness. The result was a syrupy, decadent treat that family made a special visit to come by and drink. She delighted in visits from Cameron, Caroline, Dianna, Noah, Grace, Meredith, and Christian, who frequently walked the path to Grandma’s house for a visit.    Betty Lee was frugal. She wore cotton gloves when putting on panty hose, and fluffed feather beds daily when her children were young. She believed in keeping a clean house. When her knees prevented her from doing all the chores she would like to do, nothing made her happier than for her family to come and dust and clean. Actually, nothing made her happier than to see her family. When someone came by to see her, she would beckon them to come and sit in the recliner adjoining hers, if only for a few minutes. She would say, “Put your feet up, rest your eyes for a minute, stretch out on the couch. I just want to look at you for a little while.” And all of the grandkids and kids would find themselves lulled to sleep on her couch, remembering the comfort of the feeling of napping at Grandma’s. If her family was too far away to visit, she treasured her calls from Patrice and Emily, quick to let all her visiting family know who took time to reach out to her.      Betty Lee is preceded in death by her beloved husband, Raiford Parker, her mother Betty Massengill Byrd, and father, John Calvin Byrd. Betty Lee was last living of seven children, the baby of the family. Christine, Thel, Hunter, Will H., John Junior, and Melvin Byrd were the older brothers and sister of Betty Lee.        She leaves behind her three children and their spouses, Ronnie and Mary Parker and Dianne and Reggie Parker, of Four Oaks, and Peggy Jo and Kenny Stancil of Smithfield. Her grandchildren are Patrice Parker of Surf City, NC, Angela and Ian Swank of Four Oaks, Sara and Chris Boykin of Four Oaks, Martha Parker of Four Oaks, Emily and Robert Martinez of Cary, NC, and Ken and Denise Stancil of Four Oaks, NC. Her great-grandchildren, a source of great joy and companionship, are Cameron and Caroline McMullen, Christian Swank, Grace Parker-Parrish, and Dianna, Noah, and Meredith Boykin, all of Four Oaks.